Match Report: Round 16 vs Lindfield

The sun was shining, and Kings and Lindfield set out for scenic Waterloo to clash in round 16 of the Subbies comp. We had plenty to play for, still with the faint hope that if every other club in Div 2 forfeits every remaining game, AND if Subbies decided to extend the season another five weeks, we would scrape into Div 2 for 2014.

We decided to start the day with our strongest side, so we scheduled 4th grade first. What a stroke of genius, and it paid dividends with our side (containing 14 of the finest men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing… and Gus) ran out convincing winners 30-5. We started slowly, though, with the helter-skelter pace leading to a few dropped balls and turnovers. Those on the sideline were mystified that Benny Boulos’ prodigious kicking game had yet to yield at least two tries, but they came soon enough. The first was scored by new recruit James Scott, who was presented his 4th grade ceremonial cap before kick-off in a very moving ceremony. I still vividly remember my first game in 4th grade (Lindfield, round 11 2008, player number 481), and I expect the same could be said for the select few who are lucky enough to pull on the oversized, faded 4s jersey each week. Anyway, Scotty finished off the good work done by Mark ‘the Joburg Jackhammer’ Rudman, who threw a beautiful offload that had many thinking it was actually SBW in the centres for KOBs.

The second half had us pushing hard for the much-needed bonus point. In the end that aim was achieved with ease thanks mainly to some brilliant advice given at half time by yours truly- I said ‘score 4 more tries’, and luckily they listened. Kyle, Derek, Dave and Brendon Boulos were the tryscorers, with each try a scintillating mix of individual skill, brilliant teamwork and masterful coaching from the sideline.

4s now sit 3rd on the table, and if they beat Forest this week they will be assured of a place in the finals. We have a star-studded roster- although Benny Robinson was pleading with me to add him to the list on Saturday (no dice Benny, I decided to go with Albert Anae instead).  Make sure you send the team a herogram this week and let them know how you feel (address is

3rds were next, and were once again hampered by a pretty shithouse turnout. Seriously guys please tell me if you aren’t going to make it. But nonetheless we put forward a pretty gutsy display, with a mix of old and new faces pushing Lindfield to the end. The highlight was a brilliant intercept try to Steve ‘Forgetting Sarah’ Marshall, who must have run at least 130m to put it down under the sticks, before performing an exuberant post-try celebration which involved jumping the fence to the nearby skate park, stealing a young kid’s board and busting out a 720o spin on the halfpipe. Seriously impressive stuff, even if he did lose his form a little towards the end of the spin. TMoule tried a chip-and-chase, although it would probably be more appropriate if you rephrased ‘chase’ to ‘fall onto my arse’. Don’t worry Mouley, I’ll give you a few pointers on Thursday (lesson #1- remember not to fall over).  28-10 was the end score, but it was a pretty good effort all things considered.

Colties kicked off next, and once again it was a pretty average attendance. Get your act together boys. In the end we managed to pull out a very gutsy win (although it pains me to say it we actually forfeited the game), 20-19. I only saw limited parts of this one as I was slaving away at the BBQ (special thanks to the Gow family for putting in the hard yards as well), but it looked to me like a stellar effort from a team made up of good blokes, champions, Welshies and the usual cast of scatty UTS dormrats. Seriously guys, is there even running water in those buildings?

2s ran out, and for once they actually looked like a pretty good unit. Arturo and the boys were back for another week, while 2nds stalwards Davis, Shumack and McLenaghan were looking better than ever- with the late afternoon sun hitting their faces in just the right way. Much to everyone’s surprise we opened up an 8-0 lead after Brendan Davis scored and Ryan O’Connor potted a penalty goal. Lindfield fought back gamely though, and they were helped by the one-man advantage they had all game. As we entered the final minutes KOBS were clinging to a 13-12 lead, thanks to a second half try by… someone? (seriously I didn’t see who scored). We were within sight of a historic first win of the season, but our hopes were cruelly crushed by a late Lindfield try. Still a bloody ripper effort from the guys, who have battled well over the last few weeks.

All that was left was 1st grade, although most of the fans had left the ground after the main event concluded at 11:35. But the few that remained were treated to yet another cliffhanger game between the two clubs. KOBs started the best, turning an early territorial advantage into points thanks to a Steve Marshall try. But Lindfield hit back soonafter, with the match turning into a ding-dong battle with no side ever achieving scoreboard dominance. We continued scoring tries though, first to Jamie ‘Jenny’ Craig after a great cross-kick from Heath Morley found Mike Lagudi in space. The Love Guru powered through a couple of would-be tacklers before throwing a divine ball to Jamie ‘Daniel’ Craig, who scored in the corner.

We entered the final minutes with Kings down 27-20, but camped in the Lindfield 22. Wave after wave of attack was repelled by the Lindfield defence, but it was finally cracked by none other than the golden-haired assassin, Timothy Douglas Coates, who carried three defenders to score under the sticks. Ryan OC added the extras and the scores were locked at 27-27. The game would finish with that scoreline, with KOBs chalking up a 4 try BP for the first time this year (good stuff guys, six more to go before you catch 4th grade), but still unable to snatch that elusive win.

Man of the match was Tom Dewhurst, a man who was absent through ‘injury’ for the first half of the season but has come home hard in the closing rounds. He does need to curb his aggression though, after he was given a yellow card for one of the most vicious tackles I have ever seen. Mate you are lucky you don’t have a court date, and that’s all I will say. Also worthy of mention were Ryan O’Connor, Tomasi, TMoule and Jamie ‘Owen’ Craig who was playing his 3rd game for the day.

With only two rounds to go we are recording some of our best results. Well done guys, despite considerable adversity this year you are all responding like champions. Let’s finish the season on a high, by beating Forest next week and Barker the week after that.


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